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-hel-bel-

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ok then [26 Jun 2006|05:43pm]
wow life really knows how to make you realize you're not in control. after the "wonderful" announcement of above-the-lines, when i found out i am audience services manager (by the way, blake morales had this position my freshman year...enough said) i pretty much decided sharla highly dislikes me. i'm not going to say hate, because that's a little too strong. after i received my position, i started thinking back to other events, such as when she didn't write a letter of recommendation for me for almost 2 months, when i was conveniently not asked again to help with recruitment on saturday mornings, when she never responded to my e-mails while I was in Harlaxton, etc. Granted, I now realize that she was probably busy helping out Patti and Barry and Glenn, which I feel horrible about now, but I just feel absolutely shafted from her. I think the icing on the cake, however, was today. We got our financial aid packages in the mail, and mine did NOT include an assistantship. For one thing I was counting on it because I really really need that money, plus I had one last year so I thought I was a shoe-in. Had I known I would not receive it two years in a row, perhaps I would have saved my assistantship for a later year, as opposed to sophomore year. So that's awesome. Now it's absolutely positively true: Sharla hates me. When we found out about above-the-lines, I about had an emotional breakdown, because I also realized that night that not a single person from home had called me in the month that I have been here. Miss Robyn tried to call me and meet up with me and I had to dog sit (I'm still sad that didn't work out), and my bff from home had called twice. Awesome. Good thing I apparently don't have any friends from UE or Harlaxton or Lincoln. So that was a not-so-fun night. So now we're to tonight. And I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong to Sharla, trying to figure out why the theatre department doesn't like me or think I can excel, trying to figure out if I am going to receive the training and education I need for my field from Evansville or if I have to look elsewhere, but not at all questioning my involvement in other activities at UE. My sorority, OL's, AA's and everything else I'm a part of has truly defined my UE experience and I feel blessed to have gotten to share so many experiences with so many people. So if theatre is mad at my involvement elsewhere, I guess I don't care, because I love the choices I've made. I'm just trying to figure out what God is telling me in all of this. He's been doing some absolutely amazing things in my life recently, and I feel as if I haven't thanked Him enough, so maybe this is his way of reminding me who's in control. Nonetheless, prayers would be much appreciated. And if anyone else is out there wondering what the heck is going on in their life (I'm almost positive there are a few of you), just know that you are NEVER alone. I'll be thinking of all of you and praying for you :) I swear I'll update soon with what I've been doing, and have it not be a depressing one, I just didn't have anyone to talk to here so I chose the internet to be my open ear. Hope you have a beautiful day!

-hel-bel-
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i'm still a little bit in shock [26 Jun 2006|01:30am]
wow, california. at a party at the theatre tonight, a 31-year old director asked if he could kiss me. and i said "oh i just don't know about that." this california business is ridiculous. but i ran into liz jenkins and brian hostenske tonight which was fabulous so i'll actually get to hang out with people i know!

i promise that i'll update with what the heck i'm doing this summmer, i'm just really tired/had a little bit of alcohol this evening, so i'm going to sleep then waking up tomorrow and going to nordstrom, nordstrom rack and the container store tomorrow (i already went to ikea today).

i swear that i'll update more of my life other than a 31-year old trying to hit on me. i promise.

-hel-bel-
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My temporary break from LJ [15 Apr 2006|11:53am]
[ mood | busy ]

Hey guys.

As you probably noticed, I've been on a LJ hiatus, while I posted in one for my family while I'm in England.  Well the lovely Harlaxton semester ends on Wednesday, then I'm taking an amazing 8-day tour of Spain.  THEN HOME!  Well, after home, I'm going to Evansville for a while, then back home for a few more days. 

Apparently I love leaving home for long periods of time, because this summer I was offered not one but two internships at the La Jolla Playhouse in La Jolla, California!  I'm going to be a Special Events/Fundraising and General Management intern.  Because of this, I'll be living in California for 10 weeks this summer, leaving around May 22, and returning to Lincoln around August 1.  Then I have to go to Evansville on August 7 to be back on time for Orientation Leader training.  Phew.  That's a lot of traveling.  So if any of you want to come visit California, come visit me! 

Life is going very well.  Except for the fact that I have my first final, in Romantic Literature, in two hours.  50% of my grade will be determined in two hours.  Then I have my Chemistry final on Monday, and the dreaded British Studies final on Wednesday.  It's been a good semester, full of fun and adventures, moments when I just really want to go home, meeting amazing people, making new friendships, feeling lonely and missing people at home, and probably every other emotion you can think of : )

Well...I really should go to lunch at the gourmet refectory (that was a joke...) and then study some more for this comprehensive final that we had no preparation or handout for or discussion about! : )

-hel-bel-
This entertained myself and Ashley and Sara for a good hour and a half last night.  The website is amazing, and then even better, there is a link to a touching story about a cat that ran away.

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haha [30 Oct 2005|01:44am]
johaNNA AND I are drunk. we are currently having a lot of fun because there are 6 people in our room. we are giggly and giddy and telling stories and reminding each other how much we love each other. it makes me happy. i SHOULD be calling my boyfriend and telling him he is wonderful because he is, but i'm not. oops. bed time!!

-hel-bel-
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my profuse apologies [16 Sep 2005|12:23am]
[ mood | enthralled ]

i really need to update more. but i really want to go to bed.

basically...life is amazing. absolutely amazing. god is working in so many aspects of my life, i cannot even comprehend it! i really need more time to develop this, but for now, just know what life is going so pleasantly well.

tomorrow i'm actually headed to tennessee to see a bit of southern culture, and on saturday i'm going to a vanderbilt football game. i am so very excited. nervous...but excited : )

sunday is the adopt-a-student picnic. i can't wait for it to all come together. i know it's kind of a petty and silly little function, but words cannot express how much time and effort i have put into it. i just hope it goes well.

that's all for now. just know that classes, friends, bible studies, aoii, ol's, boys, everything you could imagine is going well. i love and miss y'all!

OH YES! I'M GOING HOME TO LINCOLN FOR A WEEK IN OCTOBER AND I CAN'T WAIT! yay leave me a message if you want to hang out at some point between october 8 and october 16!

-hel-bel-

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wow. [31 Aug 2005|01:45am]
[ mood | hehe fitting picture... ]

so i'm absolutely horrible at updating this. so much has gone on in the past month and a half. i honestly feel like a completely new person. being an orientation leader has done more things for me than i ever though imaginable. and most of it is just a mental frame of mind. it's astonishing, really. i can't wait to go to harlaxton next semester, then come back. if i'm already this changed, i can't wait to see how much more i'll change after i get back from harlaxton. i promise that i'll have a big picture post in which i explain what actually has gone on in my life for the last month and a half. but i'm really just reveling in the fact that i'm so incredibly happy right now and i'm just so positive about life. : )

-hel-bel-

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just what i need [07 Jul 2005|12:16am]
[ mood | opening night is FRIDAY! ]

so i'm not a huge fan of realizing that i'm actually interested in someone. part of me likes to believe that i am self-sufficient and that i don't need someone else...yet i can't deny the fact that i am obviously thinking about someone so much more than occasionaly. great.

-hel-bel-

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[11 Jun 2005|02:18am]
[ mood | optimistic ]

i just need to tell every single one of my friends that they are amazing.

seriously, this summer is turning out to be such an interesting and amazing one already.  not to be too obvious or to let y'all know TOO much about my life, but i feel like good things are happening and i'm learning a lot about life and about myself.  i've got:  a.  the "dare i say the L-WORD" *ove interest, lol.  that's being figured out i guess.  not really at all. but things are going very well.  we're cool, we joke around and we are hilarious, and we just happen to be playing opposite love interests in the cabaret we're doing later in july.  sweet life.  b.  the wonderful new gay man!!  he tells me i'm beautiful and i have a perfect body and he can DANCE like an...amazing dancer : )  i'm so glad i'm in a show with him because he's keeping me sane!  and c.  the really fun person to practice flirting with, haha.  did you ever think you'd hear helen say that?  he's sooooo cool and i truly hope that things work out for him b/c he's just so much fun to be around and talk with.  not to mention, it's nice to have someone flirt with you so you realize that you're kinda cool to someone else.  OH and i almost forgot d.  the best friend of the friend.  he's so wonderful too.  apparently i'm a "heartbreaker"....right.  i don't think i'm capable of that.  but he also reminds me that there is more than that one aforementioned person who thinks i'm special.  it's a nice feeling.  i really love that i have such dynamic, different, amazing people in my life right now.  and i really can't wait to develop these friendships even more!

my apologies for the post.  i just needed a mental note of how clear and good things are right now, because lord knows they'll get confusing and sketch and drama-filled soon enough : )  I'M SO EXCITED to go to evansville for SOAR 1 next week, words can't even explain.  i'm still in shock that i'm an orientation leader and that i'll be meeting the new freshmen and that i'll be a sophomore next year.  i turned in my passport application today which also made me realize that i'm actually studying abroad.  holy crapface.  i can't wait for the rest of life. : )

here's some pics from tonight:


: )  "i come equipped with good ears, bandaids, nail polish for extra sparkle, absorbent shoulders, tissue ( the kind that's kind to your nose), patience for the rough spots, and an encyclopedia of reasons why i'm glad you're my friend"

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my bad [02 Jun 2005|12:06pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

i've been soooooooooo horrible about updating. my bad.

i've been very busy. i got a job at old navy. i apparently need to get another job so i can get that $4,000 the suggest you bring to travel around at harlaxton. i got the part of sandy in grease. that's fun. i've been hanging out with the same group of wonderful people nonstop. i realize i need to hang out with other people, but these people just make me so happy. see? here's some of us having fun.  this is also for you wonderful e-ville people who i love and miss so dearly, so you can see who the heck i'm talking about, or in johanna's case, who you're talking to : )

this is me and j.  we're hair twins and we're both wearing yellow shirts.



this is from watching the RIDICULOUS season finale of ailas.


me and whit's friend tom.  can we say RANDOM?!



almost done, i swear.  this is of whitney painting her nails.  it makes her look like a priss, but she's the exact opposite of that.



i really probably don't even need a title for this one.


and i LOVE these.  i have more of these on my shutterfly.  but here's seth and sean fighting with their "light sabers" (aka sticks and metal handles)

el fin.  i love you all and miss you so much!!!!

-hel-bel-

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[17 May 2005|04:22pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

my mind is running at the speed of a mile a minute. i really don't actually know what i'm doing right now. i wish i could be curled up in a ball watching a movie but i'm probably aimlessly driving around lincoln doing something. yes something. f-off : )

-hel-bel-

more details will follow once i figure out my own frame of mind.

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[12 May 2005|09:37am]
can i just mention that i just slept for 14 hours. straight. yup.
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[05 May 2005|03:16pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

i really wish my room would organize itself. i'm trying to go through my room as i put things away, deciding whether or not i can part with certain clothing items and it's proving tobe extremely difficult. my parents told me that if i can get all of my stuff for UE to fix in our lexus next fall, then they would buy me an ipod. sounds like an amazing deal to me. : ) so now i'm trying to minimize the amount of stuff i have. ue kids - what i had in my dorm room is NOTHING compared to what i have at home... so i'm chillin' with myself right now. there aren't very many kiddies home for the summer yet. so i'm organizing my room while watching mulan. i'll probably take a trip to von maur in a bit to check out the shoes : ) (some things never change). tonight, i MIGHT be hopping on down to unl for some film fesitval? not quite sure. yay for home.

-hel-bel-

ue'ers - have a safe trip home y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[03 May 2005|09:35pm]


um wow.  i definitely searched for 'smith' and did an image search. 

well with that in mind...FRESHMEN SLEEPOVER TONIGHT! : ) 

-hel-bel-
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[01 May 2005|11:37pm]
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satisfied??
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senior day pictures [01 May 2005|02:17pm]
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aww...management duckies!!

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my lovely erika!  the first person i met before welcome week  : )

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sam-rod, me and marisa at dinner

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aww!  SENIOR WILLS! : (

and just be ready for freshman sleepover pictures, once we have it on tuesday  night! : )

love y'all and see you when i get back on WEDNESDAY NIGHT! : )

-hel-bel-
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the wonderful 80's prom pictures [01 May 2005|02:09pm]
i most definitely forgot to post pictures from 80's prom.  look at how hot my $2 dress is : )
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me and johanna on the walk over.  yay glitter.

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dear lord i love this picture of taylor!  haha

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heck yes; awkward smile picture WITH the prospective student from california (who IS coming)

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not gonna lie, i think this picture is adorable.  woot for aopi semi-formal dates!

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i have no words for either of these pictures...

another separate senior day post will follow.

-hel-bel-
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one weird...word. strike that, reverse it : ) [29 Apr 2005|11:44am]
[ mood | I HATE FINALS : ) ]


Your Birthdate: July 31

Your birthday suggests that you are a good organizer and manager, an energetic and dependable worker; attributes often showing success in the business world.

Serious and sincere, you have the patience and determination necessary to accomplish a great deal.



Your approach can be original, but often rigid and stubborn.

Sensitivity may be present, but feeling are likely to be repressed.

You are good with detail and insist on accuracy, but at times scatter energies.



You're a practical thinker, but not without imagination.

You love travel and don't like to live alone.

You should probably marry early, for responsibility is necessary for your stability.


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[26 Apr 2005|02:34pm]
[ mood | amused ]

this is pretty much the most fitting thing ever right now.

http://www.benfolds.com/video/stillfightingitfullvid_300.asx

-hel-bel-

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"Nice is different than good" [25 Apr 2005|01:23am]
[ mood | crappy ]


this represents the fact that i can't hear out of my right ear.

can i just mention that i'm tired.  tired in every single idea or form of the word.   thank the lord for friends : )

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[23 Apr 2005|02:59am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

i don't think words can express how happy i am to room w/ johanna next year. next year will be AMAZING. some fun moore hall times, followed by spending an entire semester in grantham, england! my goodness. guess what else? OH MY GOSH! matt o'connor is back in town! i about peed my pants when i found out! i'm pissed that he didn't tell me he was coming though. he's my e-mail buddy / great friend / soon-to-be-big brother : ) maybe he wanted it to be a surprise or something. well in uet, nothing is a surprise : ) anyway. i'm stoked b/c he's in town and will come to the closing night party tomorrow night. / tonight. we canceled the show tonight b/c the power went out on campus. that was fun. i got to call all of the ticket-holders w/ my fellow management majors and tell them that the show was canceled. yay management. but most of all, yay johanna for our wonderful chat and for rooming together next year!

toodles, xoxo
-hel-bel-

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